Standard Pakistani response template

Very funny one…

 

"The way to get started is to quit talking & begin doing."

- - - Walt Disney

Subject: FW: Standard Pakistani response template

 

 

 

Dear Prime Minister Manmohan Singh/Atal Bihari Vajpayee/Narasimha Rao /Rajiv Gandhi,     Pakistan strongly condemns / is shocked by / is pleasantly surprised with the success of our "freedom fighters" in the loss of dozens / hundreds / thousands / millions of innocent lives in the bomb blasts / sniper attack / hijacking / religious riots / other disaster that occurred in a busy marketplace / train / housing colony / Indian parliament building / an upper-class hotel / temple in Mumbai / Delhi / Kashmir / Assam / Punjab / Gujarat / Other.   The Pakistani citizens / soldiers / "freedom fighters" / "friendship agents" / students who were caught red-handed / found dead at the scene of the crime / convicted of the crime are actually undercover Indian / American / Israeli agents. Any Pakistanis proven to be guilty of terrorism will be rewarded handsomely / dealt with severely / promoted to Lt. Colonel / given a new Indian passport and sent back to India / handed over to the Americans as proof of our commitment in the war on terror.   There are no Pakistani army-funded training camps / terrorist camps / madrasaas in Azad Kashmir / Afghanistan / Nepal / Bangladesh . The satellite images / photographs / eyewitness accounts / videotaped confessions obtained by the Indians is fraudulent / fake / inconclusive / are actually from Indian terrorist camps and part of a larger RAW / CIA conspiracy to destabilize the Pakistani government by stalling democracy / encouraging sectarian violence / undermining Pakistani institutions / causing the next military coup in Pakistan. A destabilized Pakistani government / mafia could cause Pakistan to become a dangerous nuclear WalMart / Target / Seven-Eleven and a terrorist breeding ground / university / research lab that would be worse for the world.   We hope this will not derail the peace process started with the recent India-Pakistan cricket series / Lahore bus yatra / Muzafarabad- Srinagar road opening / Bollywood peace concert / open borders initiative / other confidence-building measures. We look forward to justifying further attacks against innocent civilians / resolving the core issue of Kashmir / developing best-of-breed plausible deniability defenses.   We stand by / are plotting against our Indian brethren in their hour / days / years / decades of pain.   Signed,   Asif Ali Zardari President, Pakistan / Chief Operating Officer, Taliban Inc. / General, Pakistani Army

 

 

Sir, Sachin Tendulkar

Just gr8!...

 

Procrastination:

"Hard work often pays off after time, But laziness always pays off now."

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Sent: Wednesday, December 17, 2008 10:45 PM
Subject: Fw: Fwd: Fw: Sachin Tendulkar

"Sir" Tendulkar Just have look at the records held by Sachin Tendulkar. No wonder why British Prime Minister is suggesting him for the honor of Sir .......... New Records................ 1.        Highest Run scorer in the Test Cricket 2.        First Cricketer to pass 12000 run in the Test Cricket Records Held by Sachin Tendulkar 1.        Highest Run scorer in the ODI 2.        Most number of hundreds in the ODI 41 3.        Most number of nineties in the ODI 4.        Most number of man of the matches(56) in the ODI's 5.        Most number of man of the series(14) in ODI's 6.        Best average for man of the matches in ODI's 7.        First Cricketer to pass 10000 run in the ODI 8.        First Cricketer to pass 15000 run in the ODI 9.        He is the highest run scorer in the world cup (1,796 at an average of 59.87 as on 20 March 2007) 10.        Most number of the man of the matches in the world cup 11.        Most number of runs 1996 world cup 523 runs in the 1996 Cricket World Cup at an average of 87.16 12.        Most number of runs in the 2003 world cup 673 runs in 2003 Cricket World Cup, highest by any player in a single Cricket World Cup 13.        He was Player of the World Cup Tournament in the 2003 Cricket World Cup. 14.        Most number of Fifties in ODI's 87 15.        Appeared in Most Number of ODI's 407 16.        He is the only player to be in top 10 ICC ranking for 10 years. 17.        Most number of 100's in test's 38 18.        He is one of the three batsmen to surpass 11,000 runs in Test cricket, and the first Indian to do so 19.        He is thus far the only cricketer to receive the Rajiv Gandhi Khel Ratna, India's highest sporting honor 20.        In 2003, Wisden rated  Tendulkar as d No. 1 and Richards at No. 2 in all time Greatest ODI player 21.        In 2002, Wisden rated him as the second greatest Test batsman after Sir Donald Bradman. 22.        he was involved in unbroken 664-run partnership in a Harris Shield game in 1988 with friend and team mate Vinod Kambli, 23.        Tendulkar is the only player to score a century in all three of his Ranji Trophy, Duleep Trophy and Irani Trophy debuts 24.        In 1992, at the age of 19, Tendulkar became the first overseas born player to represent Yorkshire 25.        Tendulkar has been granted the Rajiv Gandhi Khel Ratna, Arjuna Award and Padma Shri by Indian government. He is the only Indian cricketer to get all of them.. 26.        Tendulkar has scored over 1000 runs in a calendar year in ODI's 7 times 27.        Tendulkar has scored 1894 runs in calendar year in ODI's most by any batsman 28.        He is the highest earning cricketer in the world 29.        He has the least percentage of the man of the matches awards won when team looses a match.. Out of his 56 man of the match awards only 5 times India has lost. 30.        Tendulkar most number man of match awards(10) against Australia 31.        In August of 2003, Sachin Tendulkar was voted as the "Greatest Sportsman" of the country in the sport personalities category in the Best of India poll conducted by                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Zee News. 32.        In November 2006, Time magazine named Tendulkar as one of the Asian Heroes. 33.        In December 2006, he was named "Sports person of the Year 34.        The current India Poised campaign run by The Times of India has nominated him as the Face of New India next to the likes of Amartya Sen and Mahatma Gandhi                           among others. 35.        Tendulkar was the first batsman in history to score over 50 centuries in international cricket 36.        Tendulkar was the first batsman in history to score over 75 centuries in international cricket:79 centuries 37.        Has the most overall runs in cricket, (ODIs+Tests+Twenty20s), as of 30 June 2007 he had accumulated almost 26,000 runs overall. 38.        Is second on the most number of runs in test cricket just after Brian Lara 39.        Sachin Tendulkar with Sourav Ganguly hold the world record for the maximum number of runs scored by the   opening partnership. They have put together 6,271 runs            in 128 matches 40.        The 20 century partnerships for opening pair with Sourav Ganguly is a world record 41.        Sachin Tendulkar and Rahul Dravid hold the world record for the highest partnership in ODI matches when they scored 331 runs against New Zealand in 1999 42.        Sachin Tendulkar has been involved in six 200 run partnerships in ODI matches - a record that he shares with Sourav Ganguly and Rahul Dravid 43.        Most Centuries in a calendar year: 9 ODI centuries in 1998 44.        Only player to have over 100 innings of 50+ runs (41 Centuries and 87 Fifties)(as of 18th Nov, 2007) 45.        the only player ever to cross the 13,000-14,000 and 15,000 run marks IN ODI. 46.        Highest individual score among Indian batsmen (186* against New Zealand at Hyderabad in 1999). 47.        The score of 186* is listed the fifth highest score recorded in ODI matches 48.        Tendulkar has scored over 1000 ODI runs against all major Cricketing nations. 49.        Sachin was the fastest to reach 10,000 runs taking 259 innings and has the highest batting average among batsmen with over 10,000 ODI runs 50.        Most number of Stadium Appearances: 90 different Grounds 51.        Consecutive ODI Appearances: 185 52.        On his debut, Sachin Tendulkar was the second youngest debutant in the world 53.        When Tendulkar scored his maiden century in 1990, he was the second youngest to score a century 54.        Tendulkar's record of five test centuries before he turned 20 is a current world record 55.        Tendulkar holds the current record (217 against NZ in 1999/00 Season) for the highest score in Test cricket by an Indian when captaining the side 56.        Tendulkar has scored centuries against all test playing nations.[7] He was the third batman to achieve the distinction after Steve Waugh and Gary Kirsten 57.        Tendulkar has 4 seasons in test cricket with 1000 or more runs - 2002 (1392 runs), 1999 (1088 runs), 2001 (1003 runs) and 1997 (1000 runs).[6] Gavaskar is the only                   other Indian with four seasons of 1000+ runs 58.        He is second most number of seasons with over 1000 runs in world. 59.        On 3 January 2007 Sachin Tendulkar (5751) edged past Brian Lara's (5736) world record of runs scored in Tests away from home 60.        Tendulkar and Brian Lara are the fastest to score 10,000 runs in Test cricket history. Both of them achieved this in 195 innings 61.        Second Indian after Sunil Gavaskar to make over 10,000 runs in Test matches 62.        Became the first Indian to surpass the 11,000 Test run mark and the third International player behind Allan Border and Brian Lara. 63.        Tendulkar is fourth on the list of players with most Test caps. Steve Waugh (168 Tests), Allan Border (158 Tests), Shane Warne (145 Tests) have appeared in more                           games than Tendulkar 64.        Tendulkar has played the most number of Test Matches(144) for India (Kapil Dev is second with 131 Test appearances). 65.        First to 25,000 international runs 66.        Tendulkar's 25,016 runs in international cricket include 14,537 runs in ODI's, 10,469 Tests runs and 10 runs in the lone Twenty20 that India has played. 67.        On December 10, 2005, Tendulkar made his 35th century in Tests at Delhi against Sri Lanka. He surpassed Sunil Gavaskar's record of 34 centuries to become the                    man with the most number of hundreds in Test cricket. 68.        Tendulkar is the only player who has 150 wkts and more than 15000 runs in  ODI 69.        Tendulkar is the only player who has 40 wkts and more than 11000 runs in  Tests 70.        Only batsman to have 100 hundreds in the first class cricket So Pass this to all your friends who are indians and take pride to be an indian !!!!!

 

Wedding Pass Book - Touchy One

Just gr8! One…

 

"Happiness is like a butterfly which when pursued, is always beyond our reach but which, if you sit down quietly, may alight upon you"

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Sent: Wednesday, December 17, 2008 10:51 AM
To: chirag
Subject: [Fwd: Wedding Pass Book - Touchy One]

 

Wedding Pass Book 

Monica married Nick this day. At the end of the wedding party, Monica's mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook with Rs.1000 deposit amount.

Mother told “'Monica, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage life. When there's something happy and memorable happened in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with Nick. When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you've had”.

Monica shared this with Nick when getting home. They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be made. This was what they did after certain time

7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Nick after marriage
1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Monica
20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali
15 Apr: Rs.2000, Monica got pregnant
1 Jun: Rs.1000, Nick got promoted..... and so on...

However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial things. They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married the nastiest people in the world.... no more love...Kind of typical nowadays, huh?

One day Monica talked to her Mother: 'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can't imagine how I decided to marry this guy!!!" Mother: 'Sure, girl, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if you really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing first. Remember the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.

Monica thought it was true. So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue and planning to cancel the account. While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She left and went home. When she was home, she handed the passbook to Nick, asked him to spend the money before getting divorce.

The next day, Nick gave the passbook back to Monica. She found a new deposit of Rs.5000. And a line next to the record: 'This is the day I notice how much I've loved you thru out all these years. How much happiness you've brought me. They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe. Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired? I did not ask. I believe the money did not matter any more after they had gone thru all the good years in their life. "When you fall in any way, don't see the place where you fell instead see the place from where you slipped. Life is about correcting mistakes." mistakes."

Sometimes love is for a moment, sometimes love is for a lifetime. Sometimes a moment is a lifetime.

 

Ergonomics for computer Users

A very good presentation, for those all who are working on computer for more than 6 – 8 Hrs.

 

"No matter how much you know today, you'll have to know more tomorrow."

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Sent:
To:
Subject: Ergonomics for computer Users

 

Here is good and useful PPT presentation who uses computers daily for more than 8 hrs.

Luv

Technical: How to prevent your password under windows xp

Good Information…

 

"The way to get started is to quit talking & begin doing."

- - - Walt Disney

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Subject: How to prevent your password under windows xp

 

Hello

 

How to prevent your password under windows xp:

http://www.microsoft.com/windowsxp/using/setup/tips/advanced/resetdisk.mspx

 

 

How to create and use a password reset disk for a computer in a domain in Windows XP

http://support.microsoft.com/default.aspx?scid=kb;en-us;306214&sd=tech

test

test

 

Best Regards,

chirag gandhi

project manager

 

mudra

sun point

nr parimal garden  ellisbridge

ahmedabad 380 006   india

 

m  +91 9376109333

t    +91 7939820000

f    +91 7926425058

 

www.mudra.com

 

a mudra group venture

Can't beleive he dropped one

What a balance… kitana dard hota hoga… par kya kare, papi pet ka saval hai…

 

Procrastination:

"Hard work often pays off after time, But laziness always pays off now."

 

Sent: Tuesday, December 09, 2008 12:57 PM

Subject: Can't beleive he dropped one

 

TEN MOST EXPENSIVE ACCIDENTS

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

"The way to get started is to quit talking & begin doing."

- - - Walt Disney

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Sent: Monday, December 08, 2008 4:27 PM

Subject: TEN MOST EXPENSIVE ACCIDENTS

Top 10 Most Expensive Accidents in History Throughout history, humans have always been prone to accidents. Some, such as the exotic car crashes seen on this page, can be very expensive. But that's trivial compared to the truly expensive accidents. An accident is defined as "an undesirable or unfortunate happening that occurs unintentionally and usually results in harm, injury, damage, or loss". Our aim is to list the top 10 most expensive accidents in the history of the world as measured in dollars. This includes property damage and expenses incurred related to the accident such as cleanup and industry losses. Many of these accidents involve casualties which obviously cannot be measured in dollar terms. Each life lost is priceless and is not factored into the equation. Deliberate actions such as war or terrorism and natural disasters do not qualify as accidents and therefore are not included in this list. # 10. Titanic - $150 Million The sinking of the Titanic is possibly the most famous accident in the world. But it barely makes our list of top 10 most expensive. On April 15, 1912, the Titanic sank on its maiden voyage and was considered to be the most luxurious ocean liner ever built. Over 1,500 people lost their lives when the ship ran into an iceberg and sunk in frigid waters. The ship cost $7 million to build ($150 million in today's dollars).   # 9. Tanker Truck vs Bridge - $358 Million On August 26, 2004, a car collided with a tanker truck containing 32,000 liters of fuel on the Wiehltal Bridge in Germany . The tanker crashed through the guardrail and fell 90 feet off the A4 Autobahn resulting in a huge explosion and fire which destroyed the load-bearing ability of the bridge. Temporary repairs cost $40 million and the cost to replace the bridge is estimated at $318 Million.   # 8. MetroLink Crash - $500 Million On September 12, 2008, in what was one of the worst train crashes in California history, 25 people were killed when a Metrolink commuter train crashed head-on into a Union Pacific freight train in Los Angeles . It is thought that the Metrolink train may have run through a red signal while the conductor was busy text messaging. Wrongful death lawsuits are expected to cause $500 million in losses for Metrolink. # 7. B-2 Bomber Crash - $1.4 Billion Here we have our first billion dollar accident (and we're only #7 on the list). This B-2 stealth bomber crashed shortly after taking off from an air base in Guam on February 23, 2008. Investigators blamed distorted data in the flight control computers caused by moisture in the system. This resulted in the aircraft making a sudden nose-up move which made the B-2 stall and crash. This was 1 of only 21 ever built and was the most expensive aviation accident in history. Both pilots were able to eject to safety.   # 6. Exxon Valdez - $2.5 Billion The Exxon Valdez oil spill was not a large one in relation to the world's biggest oil spills, but it was a costly one due to the remote location of Prince William Sound (accessible only by helicopter and boat). On March 24, 1989, 10.8 million gallons of oil was spilled when the ship's master, Joseph Hazelwood, left the controls and the ship crashed into a Reef. The cleanup cost Exxon $2.5 billion. # 5. Piper Alpha Oil Rig - $3.4 Billion The world's worst off-shore oil disaster. At one time, it was the world's single largest oil producer, spewing out 317,000 barrels of oil per day. On July 6, 1988, as part of routine maintenance, technicians removed and checked safety valves which were essential in preventing dangerous build-up of liquid gas. There were 100 identical safety valves which were checked. Unfortunately, the technicians made a mistake and forgot to replace one of them. At 10 PM that same night, a technician pressed a start button for the liquid gas pumps and the world's most expensive oil rig accident was set in motion. Within 2 hours, the 300 foot platform was engulfed in flames. It eventually collapsed, killing 167 workers and resulting in $3.4 Billion in damages. # 4. Challenger Explosion - $5.5 Billion The Space Shuttle Challenger was destroyed 73 seconds after takeoff due on January 28, 1986 due to a faulty O-ring. It failed to seal one of the joints, allowing pressurized gas to reach the outside. This in turn caused the external tank to dump its payload of liquid hydrogen causing a massive explosion. The cost of replacing the Space Shuttle was $2 billion in 1986 ($4.5 billion in today's dollars).. The cost of investigation, problem correction, and replacement of lost equipment cost $450 million from 1986-1987 ($1 Billion in today's dollars). # 3. Prestige Oil Spill - $12 Billion On November 13, 2002, the Prestige oil tanker was carrying 77,000 tons of heavy fuel oil when one of its twelve tanks burst during a storm off Galicia , Spain . Fearing that the ship would sink, the captain called for help from Spanish rescue workers, expecting them to take the ship into harbour. However, pressure from local authorities forced the captain to steer the ship away from the coast. The captain tried to get help from the French and Portuguese authorities, but they too ordered the ship away from their shores. The storm eventually took its toll on the ship resulting in the tanker splitting in half and releasing 20 million gallons oil into the sea. According to a report by the Pontevedra Economist Board, the total cleanup cost $12 billion. # 2. Space Shuttle Columbia - $13 Billion The Space Shuttle Columbia was the first space worthy shuttle in NASA's orbital fleet. It was destroyed during re-entry over Texas on February 1, 2003 after a hole was punctured in one of the wings during launch 16 days earlier. The original cost of the shuttle was $2 Billion in 1978. That comes out to $6.3 Billion in today's dollars. $500 million was spent on the investigation, making it the costliest aircraft accident investigation in history. The search and recovery of debris cost $300 million. In the end, the total cost of the accident (not including replacement of the shuttle) came out to $13 Billion according to the American Institute of Aeronautics and Astronautics.. # 1. Chernobyl - $200 Billion On April 26, 1986, the world witnessed the costliest accident in history. The Chernobyl disaster has been called the biggest socio-economic catastrophe in peacetime history. 50% of the area of Ukraine is in some way contaminated. Over 200,000 people had to be evacuated and resettled while 1.7 million people were directly affected by the disaster. The death toll attributed to Chernobyl , including people who died from cancer years later, is estimated at 125,000. The total costs including cleanup, resettlement, and compensation to victims has been estimated to be roughly $200 Billion. The cost of a new steel shelter for the Chernobyl nuclear plant will cost $2 billion alone. The accident was officially attributed to power plant operators who violated plant procedures and were ignorant of the safety requirements needed.

 

ATS emergency numbers

Not sure about the authenticity of this Info:-

 

There is no such thing as failure. Failure is only success delayed.

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Sent: Monday, December 08, 2008 4:42 PM
Subject: ATS emergency numbers

In case you come across any suspicious activity, any suspicious movement or have any information to tell to the Anti-Terror Squad, please take a Note of the new ALL INDIA TOLL-FREE Terror Help-line "1090".   Your city's Police or Anti-Terror squad will take action as quickly as possible. Remember that this single number 1090 is valid all over India This is a toll free number and can be dialed from mobile phones also. Moreover, the identity of the caller will be kept a secret. Let us make each and every citizen of India aware about this facility.   Please forward this mail to as many people as possible, and tell everyone Individually also.                   Save a tree...please don't print this e-mail unless you really need to.

 

 

 

--
Prakash Shah

Did you observe these dates??Please have a look

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

"Remember folks. Traffic lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph."

                                                       - Jim Samuals

-----Original Message-----]
Sent: Thursday, December 04, 2008 1:18 PM

Subject: Did you observe these dates??Please have a look

 

      Please note......

 

        13 May -------- JAIPUR

        June---------NA----------

        26 July ------------ AHMEDABAD

        August ------------NA---------------

        13 September ------------ DELHI

        October ----------NA---------------

        26 November --------------- MUMBAI

        December --------NA(hopefully)--------------------

        13 January ----------------- What Next?

 

        Please be careful in the week of January 13.

        This might be some random observation of sequence dates of bomb

blasts or terror attacks.

        But there's no harm in keeping ourselves alert.

 

        Please pass this on to as many of your friends as u

can..............